8.30 am - I've had a sleepless night debating on whether or not I should instigate meetings with HR and/or line manager. On the one hand, I'm desperate to get some reassurance that the college want to and can support me; on the other hand, why the flip should I show them how to behave legally and professionally? I am also getting stressed about how and when the 50 pieces of year 11 coursework marking is going to get done. My thinking is that if the supply teacher had been employed to support my phased return, she can cover some lessons for me so that I can get the marking done. I can feel panic setting in so I decide to speak to CB and find out if she knows whether supply is solely for supporting me or not. CB is talking to another colleague at the entrance to the shared admin office so rather than be rude and interrupt her conversation I go and stand next to her desk in clear view to her. She does not acknowledge that I am there.
8.32 am - Still no acknowledgement from CB. The principal's PA stops to ask how I am and I start to get upset as you do when you're mental, frustrated and someone is actually nice to you.
8.35 am - Still no acknowledgement from CB. I have a choice - chuck the stapler on the desk in front of me at CBs head or leave the office. Thankfully, the uncontrollable urge to cry takes over and I flee the admin office, crying like a toddler at Bambi. For the first time ever I walk through the college in tears not able to control them in front of students. Actually, none of them take the piss!
8.40 am - Decide I need to speak to Y (Line manager) about WTF is going on with supply teacher, backlog of work and that I'm shitting myself that I can't get it all done. A very reluctant Y has to accept my hysterical request for a chat. He declines my request for supply teacher to cover some lessons and also says that she can't mark the backlog of work; I am explicit in my explanation that there is not enough time for me to teach and mark the work. He just does his best 'I'm going to tip you over the edge so you leave' face and says "you'll have to find a way". I sniffle and sob my way back to our office.
8.45 am - Bell goes for start of tutor time. I'm still sobbing hysterically. I ring CB, clearly distressed, and ask if there is anyone who she can grab to cover the tutor period as X has gone AWOL again. She says there is no one free in the whole college. After sobbing more down the phone (one of those you can't catch your breath and speak episodes) she tells me, with a big sigh, to stay put and someone will be over to help me.
8.50 am - no sign of any help arriving so I take a few deep breaths and head for the tutor room. The kids have that look on their faces that people have when a stray pitbull wanders up to them - is it going to be all helpless and you want to help it or is it going to rip my head off?! They realise that unless they give me reason to I will not rip their heads off today. I explain that I've had some bad news and I'm upset so for them just to ignore me which they do.
9.00 am - I turn down the offer of having my lesson covered as it's a P16 lesson that's all boys so I know if I tell them it's the time of the month they'll shut up, leave me alone and get on with their work. As it turns out all they ask is if I've had "a" menopause, everything there is to know about "Maggie Thatcher the milk sntacher" and if we can watch the funeral during next weeks lesson! Love those boys.
11.00 am I'm a mentalist. Get me out of heeeeeeeeeere!!! Off for a bit of retail therapy and a trip to Greggs.
Days back at work without a return to work interview with HR and/or meeting with Line Manager = 3
No comments:
Post a Comment